Should Kids Have Chores? Benefits Every Parent Should Know

Should kids have chores? YES. 100% yes. But probably not for the reason you think.

Chores aren’t just about getting the dishes done, keeping bedrooms clean, or taking a few things off your plate. When kids contribute to the home, they’re learning responsibility, independence, follow-through, work ethic, and what it means to be an important part of something bigger than themselves.

I actually prefer to think of chores as contribution. Your child isn’t “helping you” with your housework. They live in the home. They use the dishes. And, they make the messes. They’re part of the family, which means they have something valuable to contribute to it.

And yes, even little kids can start.

Why Are Chores Important for Kids?

It can feel easier to just do everything yourself, especially when your child is young. I mean, you can probably unload the dishwasher in half the time it takes to teach a six-year-old where everything goes. But efficiency isn’t the point here.

Every time you automatically do something for your child that they’re capable of learning to do themselves, you’re missing an opportunity to develop their capability. Remember, our goal is to raise up capable, world-ready LEADERS! How can they learn to lead if they’re never expected to step up?

Chores give kids real-life opportunities to practice taking responsibility, solving problems, following through, caring for their belongings, and doing things simply because they need to be done. They also build work ethic by teaching kids that being part of a family means contributing even when the task isn’t particularly fun.

Most importantly, contribution gives children a role in the family. They get to experience the confidence that comes from knowing, I’m capable. I’m needed. What I do matters here. That’s so powerful, guys.

Watch: My Instagram reel on why chores matter for kids

What Age Should Kids Start Doing Chores?

Kids can start contributing much earlier than most parents realize. Obviously, you’re not handing your two-year-old a bottle of bleach and sending them off to clean the bathroom. But as soon as children are capable of participating in the home, give them opportunities to participate.

The responsibilities should grow as they do.

Toddlers and Preschoolers

At this age, focus on simple participation. Young kids can put toys in a basket, carry dirty clothes to the hamper, put shoes where they belong, help set the table, or help clean up a small mess they made.

Will they do everything perfectly? Definitely not. Adjust your expectations, because that’s not the point. You’re establishing the expectation as early as possible that everyone in the family contributes.

For more on this, read my post “How to Get Kids to Pick Up After Themselves.”

Elementary-Age Kids

As kids become more capable, their responsibilities should involve more independence. They may make their bed, unload the dishwasher, put away laundry, feed pets, wipe down counters, sweep, pack their lunch, or take responsibility for keeping their room and belongings organized.

This is also a great age to start stepping back and letting go of perfectionism. If your child is capable of doing something themselves, resist the urge to redo it just because they didn’t do it exactly the way you would.

Capability comes from practice.

Watch: My Instagram video on chores for elementary-age kids

Tweens and Teens

By the tween and teen years, kids should be learning how to handle many of the responsibilities they’ll eventually need to manage as adults. That needs to include doing their own laundry, preparing meals, cleaning bathrooms, caring for pets, doing yard work, washing dishes, keeping their spaces clean, and owning recurring household responsibilities without waiting for you to tell them every time. This is at minimum!

Remember, you’re not just trying to get through this week with a clean house. You’re preparing your child to eventually function in a home of their own.

Watch: My Instagram video on chores for tweens and teens

Should Kids Get Paid for Chores?

I don’t believe kids should automatically get paid for contributing to the family.

When every responsibility comes with a reward attached, kids can start learning to ask, What do I get for doing this? But there are plenty of things in life we do because we’re responsible for them, not because someone is standing there waiting to hand us five dollars. That’s not how we raise real-world contributors.

Nobody pays you to wash your own clothes, clean up the kitchen after you cook dinner, or take care of your home. Those things are simply part of taking care of yourself, your belongings, your environment, and the people you live with.

Now, your job? That’s where you make money. That’s work you do beyond the basic responsibilities required to take care of yourself and contribute to your household.

Kids should have similar opportunities to earn money, but I see that as a separate life skill with a different purpose. This is where kids learn how to work, earn, save, spend, and manage money responsibly.

So, my recommendation is to separate basic family contributions from additional jobs your child can choose to complete for money. Taking your plate to the kitchen might simply be part of contributing to your family. Washing the car, organizing the garage, or tackling another extra job could be an opportunity to earn some cash.

Your kids need to learn both lessons: We contribute because we’re part of a family, and we work to earn money. You can teach contribution and financial responsibility without making one dependent on the other.

Watch: My Instagram video on whether kids should get paid for chores

If you want to learn more about how I balance basic expectations and opportunities to earn, listen to me discuss how I use contracts, discipline, and structure to raise responsible kids who step up!

Family Contributions vs. Paid Jobs Examples

Family Contributions	Paid Jobs
Make your bed	Wash and vacuum the car
Put dirty clothes in the hamper	Pull weeds from the garden
Put clean clothes away	Rake and bag leaves
Put your dishes in the dishwasher	Shovel snow from the driveway
Unload the dishwasher	Wash outdoor windows
Pack your school backpack	Organize the garage shelves
Put shoes and coats away	Clean and organize a storage closet
Pick up toys after playing	Pick up sticks in the yard
Feed and give water to a family pet	Wash and clean out the family bikes
Bring the trash cans in from the curb	Help clean out the basement or attic
Put groceries away	Help paint a fence, room, or piece of furniture
Wipe down the bathroom sink after getting ready	Clean out and vacuum the family vehicle
Put books, games, and supplies back where they belong	Clean the refrigerator

How Many Chores Should Kids Have?

There’s no magic number of chores every child needs to have.

A four-year-old, a ten-year-old, and a sixteen-year-old obviously shouldn’t carry the same responsibilities. Consider your child’s age, capabilities, schedule, and what actually needs to happen within your home.

More isn’t necessarily better, either. I’d rather see a child completely own a few meaningful responsibilities than have a gigantic chore chart that requires Mom to follow them around all day making sure everything gets checked off.

Give your kids enough responsibility that their contribution actually matters. As they demonstrate that they can handle it, give them opportunities to own more.

How Do You Get Kids to Do Chores Without Constant Reminders?

Sometimes, our biggest hang-up with giving kids chores isn’t figuring out how to teach them, getting past the guilt of giving them responsibilities, or deciding what’s age-appropriate. Often, moms are worried chores will actually create more work in the long run. Instead of taking some of the load off, they become another source of conflict. No one wants to spend all day nagging their kids to get one simple task done.

If you have to remember every responsibility, tell your child when to do it, remind them six times, check whether they finished, and then argue with them about it, you’re still carrying the entire mental load.

Instead, make responsibilities predictable. Build recurring tasks into your family’s existing routines, and make sure your child knows exactly what “done” looks like. If your child is responsible for feeding the dog every morning, that shouldn’t require a brand-new instruction from you 365 days a year.

And when they forget, don’t immediately rescue them by doing it yourself. Bring them back to the responsibility and let them follow through.

This is exactly why systems are such a huge part of Lauren Magers’ Happy Life System™. The goal is to create a home where everyone knows how to contribute and what they’re responsible for, without one exhausted parent having to constantly manage every moving part.

Stop calling it “helping mom.”

I want you to make one simple shift: Stop treating household responsibilities like they inherently belong to Mom and everyone else is graciously “helping” her.

Everyone lives there. Everyone contributes.

Your kids aren’t just learning how to complete a chore chart. They’re learning to notice what needs to be done, take ownership, follow through, care for the people and environment around them, and become capable humans who know how to function in the real world.

We don’t want kids who “help Mom.” We want kids who know how to contribute.

For more revolutionary parenting advice from Lauren Magers’ Happy Life System™, follow me on Instagram!